OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
