remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I've blown a few things in my day
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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