$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize