Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
