Taylor Swift is so right about you.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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