Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
