even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
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those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
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I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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