Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize