ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Randomize
