he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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