I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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