Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Randomize
