oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
