Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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