oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
