so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
