Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
