so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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