I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
