I seem to have left my pride at pride
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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