well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
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