I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Randomize
