do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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