Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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