ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This gyro tastes like lonliness
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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