Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
