she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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