at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
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well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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