You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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