I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
