I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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