I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
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Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
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Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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