I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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