you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
