Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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