Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Blood and glitter go together right?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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