we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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