she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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