dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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