i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
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I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
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Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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