i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
