if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
