i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
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