I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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