It's Friday. Sex?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
