just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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