When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize