11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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