So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
