you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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