Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize