Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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