So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
