Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
