no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
