You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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