I have demons in me.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
