All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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