I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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